Believe in the sex appeal of the 50’s (no, not the era…)
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Reading time 4 mins
Sex appeal is about youthfulness not youth
I’d like to share an attitude-shifting memory that occurred in an up-market restaurant in London’s Belgravia. It was in the noughties and revised my definition of sex appeal. It also revised my definition of women in their 50’s and older.
I was surrounded by a vibrant well-heeled crowd in this small Italian restaurant. Typically Zafferano was inhabited by a mix of aristocracy, oligarchs and celebs. Of course this type of scene, in this part of London, would not be complete without the Manthers. Older well-groomed successful men, often in their 50’s, usually accompanied by blasé young ladies, usually in their 20’s or 30’s. To this day I can still vividly recall the scenario and how it unfolded. Because what hit me was the revelation that I had witnessed how things could be. Or rather should be for women who have waved a fond adieu to their 40s.
So there I was eating a plate of linguine con granchio when I looked up to see couple walk in. Both with grey hair, both I would guess somewhere in their late 50’s. He seemed a regular sort of guy – average height, average weight, averagely dressed; the sort of man you wouldn’t remember. However linked onto his arm was a woman who drew towards her every pair of eyes in the room. Including me, the staff, the Manthers AND their arm candy.
The woman
She wore a dark knee length pencil skirt and a white silk blouse, just slightly veering into immodestly undone, with nondescript mid-height court shoes. This woman was neither full-figured or slim but I remember admiring her hourglass shape. Her salt ‘n pepper grey hair was shoulder length and loose and she wore the bare minimum of make up. She wasn’t beautiful per se, although (unusually) for the area, she looked natural. I imagine she took care of herself but not in a high-maintenance kind of way.
So what was it that she had that captivated us all?
She oozed sex appeal. (Okay so I’m now going to start projecting…..) She looked as though she had just had great sex, rolled out of bed, got dressed, hadn’t bothered to fix her tousled hair and walked in to have lunch, with, what I would imagine being, a hearty appetite. It seemed she loved life, herself, sex, food, her partner, everything. She gave an energy of being utterly content with who she was and every one of us could sense it. Even though she’d passed into an age where – supposedly – women become invisible. The shared admiration she garnered is what I would imagine Helen Mirren would get when walking into a room when she was in her 50’s. My apologies, that’s a ridiculous thing to say. It’s the admiration I can imagine Helen Mirren getting whatever her age.
Outdated phrase?
To briefly digress from the story, on reflection, is the phrase ‘sex appeal’ outdated? Do I even like the phrase? I can’t think of any other way to describe what this woman had. She wasn’t dressed provocatively, she wasn’t seeking attention, she wasn’t behaving in a sexualised manner. However it was obvious she was appealing to both men and women in some collective way. To me, she gave an air of lively energy and mischief topped off with a dollop of confidence and happiness.
Whatever it was, her partner, the average guy, was so proud of walking in with, what he rightly knew to be, the hottest woman in the restaurant. He didn’t want a spring chicken on his arm. He wanted his lunch to contain the laughter and flowing conversation that the Spring-Autumn couples lacked. The Manthers looked envious because, for all their sophisticated grooming, Mr Average was the one who’d hit the jackpot. His lunch partner grew up on Bowie not Kanye.
The 50’s gain sex appeal (not invisibility)
Even though this was many years ago, I’ve always wanted to share the story. It made me realise, whilst I was still in my 30’s, that women do not automatically become invisible after 50. Or at least they don’t have to. Nurture your confidence, a passion for life and fun, and be (or at least sometimes try to be) as carefree as you were in your 20’s. There’s youth and youthfulness and the latter can be any age.
© Ijustwantmybodyback.com
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